Over a year ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. I can say almost for sure, that my journey with issues of mental health started many years ago. I felt emotionally drained, weak and lost.
Lost so badly that I contemplated driving into a tree and this made me scared. I have everything and I was in such a bad state, I needed to ask for help. Meds, therapy, some time off from work helped me to stand on my own two feet.
Friend of mine also suggested something called minimalism. I wasn’t sure about this.
I got to watch a documentary on Netflix called: Minimalism: A documentary about the important things. This film changed my way of looking at my life and got me thinking. The idea of rejecting things not adding value to your life made perfect sense for me. I needed to clear things around me, clear my head from clutter and throw away things without purpose.
We started cleaning wardrobes. I give away to charity most of my clothes, I left myself with a few favourite T-shirts, three pairs of trousers, four jumpers and that’s it. Left some socks and underwear. The same followed with my drawers full of documents and letters. All shredded and recycled.
When I looked around and I realised I have tonnes of electronic stuff, some GoPros, guitar amps, guitars which I didn’t play with for years. I looked around our flat and decided to donate or sell anything I wasn’t using for the past six months. I felt lighter and healthier. Old CD’s, things collected for no reason and thinks which “maybe one day I will use” went straight to the bin or onto a few black bags for charity.
I made also big changes in my daily routines, I focused more on relationships rather than things.
Letting go – unclutter
I managed to let go of things not adding value to my life, also in terms of activities. I let go of pressuring myself with writing, reading, pushing myself in terms of creating content. I realised that letting go of “I must” and “I have to” made me happier and healthier. Became attuned to myself more – when I wanted to sleep or decided that I want to chill, I left my writing for later. I slept a lot and I withdrew totally from socialising with anyone for a while.
Moved on with some people
It might sound harsh but I decided to let go of some people. We all have around us people who pushing us around, include us in their everyday drama, complaining constantly but not changing a thing in their life, expecting different results. I want to focus on positive relationships, people who are there for me, people who give more than take, people similar to us.
Less work, more relationships
I made time for myself and people around me consciously. I work four days a week, making sure that my children, my partner and our friends can spend time with me when they want to. I have time just for myself also. Making sure that we all have the right work/life balance, especially with our children, as we co-parenting. I have my children 3 times a week overnight, sometimes 4. If they want to stay at mums. I’m ok with that and I am visiting them there. I also have one day just for myself.
To be, not to have
I realised that buying stuff is just pointless. It made me happy for a day and after I felt shit again ‘cos I missed this rush in my blood. Giving away things, selling and reducing clutter made me feel more of this, with letting go of my belongings I felt warmth in my heart. Knowing that someone else will use these things. I think three times before I will buy something, on top of that I’m delaying the purchase of anything. If I will not have it within three months, probably I didn’t need it at all. My children have present dad, a person who told them hundreds of time a day that he loves them and they feel this love. I feel the same from them. Sometimes my kids want to cuddle and be next to me. Those are the most rewarding moments for me as a dad.
I look after my mind
Working with a therapist/ psychologist makes life so much better. I can offload and keep my mind healthy, I learned about meditation, focused on my breathing. I know how to reduce my anxiety levels and I am much more self-aware. We need to remember – our mind is so important, why do we not looking after it well? I need to have a healthy mind, this has a huge impact on my children and my work. We need to start talking openly about the mental health of fathers and men overall. I got another 40 years in front of me hopefully. I need to have a healthy head, so do you. Depression and anxiety are like any other illness. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
For me, minimalism opened my mind. Helped me to organise the mess in my house and in my head. I learnt to let go of things and I was able to get refocused on what’s important to us in life. I felt so light and much more spiritual, I would like to know your opinions on this. What do you think about letting go of things and making space in your life for yourself, your loved ones and decluttering your spaces and your mind. Starting fresh and refocusing.
Feel free to DM me or write a comment below.
Please try to unclutter yourself.